For the better part of two months, clergy and those leaders representing faith communities have been in overdrive in trying to navigate the day to day demands of what it means to offer spiritual guidance to folks right now. Be it in a congregational setting, as a chaplain, or working at a non-profit these times are asking us to totally rethink our interaction with those we are called to serve. Phone calls, emails, and Zoom meeting after Zoom meeting has become the norm.
There has been a great response of rising to the occasion across the board. Faith leaders from all over have formed online communities and support groups to help one another out. Want to figure out the best way to LiveStream your church’s Sunday service on YouTube while also utilizing Zoom and Facebook Live? There’s a group for that out there.
And yet, in the need to adapt and to be accessible in creative and imaginative ways there has been a tendency to produce. The need to not only to “shelter in place” to stay ahead of the virus, but a feeling of staying ahead in how fast we could remodel our lifestyles. Some changes to our lives have been hard and difficult, while others one might argue have been needed and offer us a better chance to see what’s important. No matter how you choose to look at it, it’s been a helluva transition that we need to just come out and own.
I had taken ownership of the stress and pressure I was feeling. I had mouthed those words in my head and my body was certainly feeling it. Weight and tension on my shoulders, my hours of rest were becoming compromised, my body that sat in front of a computer screen for several hours at a time felt like it had been through a demanding workout.
Something had to give.
It started out by lay-leaders in my church commenting on what they saw; that it appeared I was working more than normal. They asked questions about how I was doing and how I was able to do “church work” from my home office/library when a 2 year old was running around elsewhere in the house. They asked me how I was able to “switch-off” at the end of the day. At first I laughed in response to my struggles. Playing it off as, “Well, I didn’t sign up for this but this is where we’re at.” These comments started to come more frequently, and then during an evening discussion with my spouse while I sat in our living room with a laptop in my lap she told me what she and my daughter were experiencing;
“You're here more, but we see you less.”
That was it. I reached out to those in my congregation that needed to know and requested several days off in order to disconnect. I don’t know why I had hesitated so long, maybe it was because there is a stigma that clergy are supposed to be in hyper-availability mode right now or maybe that voicing my need for help is a sign of weakness when folks right now are looking for signs of hope. I dunno, but I can tell you that when I did let those words finally fly I received more affirmation then I knew what to do with.
So, in trying to keep this short and sweet, hear these words fellow covid-crusaders…
You don’t have to push through this.
You don’t have to weather this storm with no rest.
You have permission to say, “that’s enough.”
You have permission to pay attention to what your body is telling you.
You don’t need to justify needing a mini-sabbatical, a few days off, a “stay-cation.”
Talk to your people and tell them where you are physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I can almost guarantee you’ll be shown compassion and understanding by most. And for the few that “just don’t get,” well, they don’t have to “get it.”
I’m thankful I serve a community that helped me name this, supported me in the decision, and are helping me stay “away” right now so that I can come back renewed for what’s next. I count myself fortunate.
That’s it from me for the next several days. So for now, I’m closing this laptop and am heading into the kitchen to cut up some pickles for my daughter. My prayer for you is to find something as holy and meaningful as that in your time today.
As you were,
~tBSB